Status page translator

What the status page says, and what it means.

Coming soon Paste any status update and get a kind translation. Until it's ready, the phrasebook below has the classics.

The phrasebook

  1. We are investigating reports of elevated error rates.

    Something is on fire. We don't know what yet.

  2. A subset of customers may be affected.

    Probably you.

  3. Degraded performance

    It works. Slowly. If you're patient and lucky.

  4. We have identified the issue and are implementing a fix.

    Someone found the bad change. It's being rolled back right now.

  5. Out of an abundance of caution

    We're nervous too.

  6. We are monitoring the results.

    It's fixed, and we're staring at graphs, afraid to blink.

  7. This incident has been resolved.

    Everyone can go back to bed.

  8. We will share a full root cause analysis.

    Someone's week just got busy. Thank you, someone.

Be kind to the person typing

Behind every one of these lines is a tired engineer writing fast, with a lawyer, a boss and a million users reading over their shoulder. We tease the words, never the people.